Sadly, our Beloved Blogger is laid low by a coldy coughy affliction, and was unable to attend last nights meeting, so this unworthy stand in must do his best.
Last night, our first time back in the New Year, was Stephen’s workshop. Undaunted by this prospect, nineteen Shorelinkers, (or Shortlinkers as members under six feet are called), turned up for the occasion. As in all the best workshops, this one was eminently simple. We were just required to write about our New Year’s Resolution – either this year, or in years past.
The diversity of work produced was, as always, astonishing. One of us (no names, no pack drill) was a government adviser, who proposed building a wall across the channel. I was a bit confused as to whether this was to keep foreign nuns out, or keep them in. I have no memory of who this was, but I thought the idea had been borrowed from somewhere.
Then there was a member who had such bad hangovers that they resolved to ban New Year’s Eve. Then someone was thinking of taking up Veganism, but feels sorry for vegetables. Then there was a wild fantasy about a Cary Grant lookalike – a promise to go down to the fish market and feed the mermaids every morning. (We may be back to hangovers here). A sordid story of seduction by Charles Atlas’s double (just the top half you understand). Then there was a vampire paedophile who fell out of a window – a resolution not to murder anyone – grumpy ducks and good deeds – the sex life of a reel of Sellotape (I didn’t understand that, Helen) – a cake flavoured with garlic – a resolution to finish a novel (where have I heard that before?) and something about drones.
If I missed anyone, please forgive me but I have to go and tend the patient now. I can hear a soft moaning and the glug glug of brandy.
A moment of inspiration – what I need is a Chair Doctor.
Thank you and well done Stephen – a splendid idea beautifully presented
PS Thanks, Ro, may even let you do it again! Reading week next week, at Tesco, optional theme I never expected to find one of these. See you there (hopefully), Sally