Online Shorelink Week 32

At last it seems we have some light at the end of this dark Covid tunnel with news of not just one, but several, possibly viable vaccines. And, as we cross our fingers tightly and brace for a long winter, I find myself also immensely cheered by the many comic submissions on this week’s theme. It was Do not try this at home, and hit both factual and fictional funny bones with many Shorelinkers.

There were several hilarious memories of cooking catastrophes, with pizza definitely out there leading the array of culinary disasters. But who could not sympathise with the bride who assumed the egg poacher would fulfil its job description with the mere addition of a couple of eggs, or the hostess who decided to host a supper party with her first attempt at making a pizza? Well, possibly a trifle rash, that, but it gave rise to a splendid new word, pizzamoeba, for the resultant burnt offering. As someone who only has to pass near a cooker for everything to burst into malevolent flames (well, that’s what it feels like) I sympathised greatly with this.  And oh, that beautiful pizza oven in Umbria, which was concealing a colony of bugs – yuk!

I suppose the story of the apple pie rescued during an air raid was a sort of cooking one, but that ended happily. It wasn’t all cooking, however, we had some DIY going on as well. There was the teenage experiment of throwing a giant lego ball off a roof (happily, no-one was killed) and the older brother whose passion for reptiles, rocketry and explosives created mayhem in his household. And the delightful morality tale of the DIY- er who was also a cheat, running his electricity off the National Grid via a handy lamp post. As he was \making his poor wife’s life hell, his subsequent jail sentence and her restoration to a decent life was very satisfactory.

An apocalyptic poem described with some accuracy the confusion of current policies, and yet another laid out with wonderful wit and perception the idea of Lockdown Olympics – I guess it is almost certainly a generational thing but I was hysterical at the idea of the gazunder on the head as protection when engaging in certain sports ie jumping of the bed. Yet another poem played cleverly with collective nouns before taking us to a sceptical conclusion.

It wasn’t all cynicism. The Wizard Shazzam managed to right the chaos caused by an errant pupil in a charming fairy story, and thankfully Miriam managed to survive the ministrations of Vota Torquent in the last part of her story, become comfortable in her own body, and subsequently to prosper.  Though Amy, the trainee clairvoyant, was less lucky, discovering that her new found ability was a double edged sword.

We had an intriguing bit of history around Edward V111 and his wife’s relationship with both Churchill and Hitler, looking forward to Part 2 of this, and a tale of one man and his dog. This really moved me, as I remember Jasper well (we had a cat of the same name at the time) but also because the story touched on something never really spoken of, but all animal lovers understand. That is the fact that though we love all our animals excessively, every now and again, there is one special one. For no particular reason, one that grabs your heart in a vice. A sort all encompassing a falling in love. A unique and magnificent gift. So thanks for that story, Paul.

Our moose hero is battling on in spite of his regenerating foe, and we leave him wounded but finally about to use the Stick. Go, man, go! And Alice – oh, this poor girl, her rescuer is now caught and bound to the raft as well – the tension mounts…

So, well, what a week! I have been amused, educated and thoroughly charmed by your work. Thank you all. Please keep them coming.

And for next week’s theme? Well, in the 1980’s the Beatles Albums were re-catalogued into these 14 titles.  I thought you might have fun with one or all of them. Use them to inspire, reminisce – whatever you fancy.  Sally


         Please Please Me
 (1963)        

        With the Beatles (1963)

        A Hard Day’s Night (1964)

        Beatles for Sale (1964)

        Help! (1965)

       Rubber Soul (1965)

        Revolver (1966)

       Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

       Magical Mystery Tour (1967)[              The Beatles (“The White Album”, 1968)

       Yellow Submarine (1969)

       Abbey Road (1969)

 Let It Be (1970)                 The Beatles (“The White Album”, 1968)

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