You might think the imagination would boggle at the very idea of a Shorelink Olympic Games! I mean, do we look like a sporty lot? OK, that’s a rhetorical question. For all I know there may be a secret 100 metre sprinter among us, but, if so, they are definitely hiding their light under a rather large bushel. So, boggling or not, it was a shock to be asked to imagine just such an event. But never underestimate Shorelinkers and their singularly exotic creativity.
They rose to the challenge with joyful eccentricity. Global Wellie Throwing, with 5 kg of compulsory weight cow dung, was revoltingly hilarious, and do not forget the lethal Archery Competition, the Spoon race (the egg was not called for), a new kind of Horse Race (people v horses), the Lawn Strimming relay – which ended badly, of course. Then there was the Rapping party, and a Unicycle race which involved rifle shooting, which, needless to say, also ended badly. All that was just, as they say, for starters.
Unsurprisingly, there was a definite leaning towards food and drink, the Finger-Licking KFC competition, a Pie Eating contest, a Smoothie one, a Beer Drinking challenge and a very popular Half- Marathon – yes, the chocolate kind. And we were given a wonderful Olympics summary in the style of the BBC News Sports coverage which rather scurrilously involved almost all our members, but I don’t think anyone is threatening to sue!
In all there were 20 efforts, stories, essays, verses, almost all very funny indeed. Which I know was the intention of Chris and Chris. Well done, and thanks, girls, it was brilliant fun. And I must mention my favourite quote of the evening: ‘No-one went down with the Zika virus, but several people caught Writers Block.’
But that wasn’t obvious at Shorelink last night! Sally